Sunday, November 11, 2007

Our day out







As the boys are getting older the time that we spend together just the five of us is very rare and precious. Today was one of those days. I told the boys that I wanted us to go and take some family photos hoping that I would get one or two good enough for a Christmas card. The ones you see are the ones I am not using. I did manage to get a couple of the three of them. We went out to Veteran's Park and Ebeneizer's Swamp Preserve. After snapping the camera for a while Ana Claire was tired of and told me no more. She made sure of that by pulling up dress and showing me her panties. We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day. We come home and straightened up some and had a nice dinner together and even watched a movie together.
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One thing that did happen to me today was something that would make all adoptive parents cringe. I took Ana Claire to the restroom and a lady with two kids came in behind us. One child was a toddler and the other looked to be about 9 or 10. This was our conversation.
Woman: Where did you get her? She sure is cute.
My response: She is from China, as I pushed AC into the stall.
Little girl: Are you her momma?
My response: Yes, I am her mother.
Little girl: No, your not. She looks Mexican or something.
My response: Yes, I am her mother she is adopted from China.
Little girl: Where are her real parents? Did they not want her? Did they just give her to you?
At this point Ana Claire's eyes were as big as silver dollars. I just told the little girl I was her mom and she was my daughter and I tried to get AC out of the restroom as quickly as possible. I knew there would be questions from this. You could see her wheels turning. Now I wanted to tell this little girl to quit being so nosey, but I know she was just being curious. I thought of several things I could have said.
A friend of mine had shirts printed up with the verse, Job 13:5
If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.
I wish I would have been wearing my shirt today and the little girl would have understood that she needed to keep her mouth shut.
For those of you wondering. The lady was still in the restroom while the girl was asking the questions. She did tell her once that is enough questions, but it didn't stop the child from asking. Ana Claire knows that she is from China and she is adopted. She also knows that she come from a Chinese woman's tummy. Ana Claire has asked me why the girl asked me if I was her real mommy. To Ana Claire I am her REAL mommy, and in my heart I am her REAL mommy. There is a dear sweet soul that gave birth to my daughter and for that I am forever grateful that she chose to give her life. Her loss was my blessing. I pray that her birth mother has peace with the decision she had to make and that God has given her peace in her heart that her daughter is safe, very loved, and thriving. I have tried to explain this to Ana Claire when she has asked questions in a way that she can understand, but when someone asks questions like that in front of her it has to confuse her.
I do hope that the woman took the time to explain to the little girl that some of her questions were rude and inappropriate. There are some questions you just don't ask a stranger know matter how nosey you are.

16 comments:

Dale and Angie Kennedy said...

Very interesting what happened to you and AC. We have been reading books to Maile about her adoption and she seems to grasp so far that she is adopted and we are her family. I'm sure she will forget and asked why she does not look like us when she's 5 years old. BTW you have a very beautiful family.

Melanie said...

So beautiful pictures as I told you. What I didn't know was AC striptease LOL! But that sure was funny :-)
I know you had a hard time when that girl was asking questions, I think the little girl was curious, her mom should have told her to shut up, just for AC. Of course, AC has to know about it but,that questions have to come from her when she needs answers, not from someone else. Just ignore people (even if they are kids), you don't need to give explanaitions to everyone, just to AC. I'm sure she knows by now she has a great and caring family :) Oh, that was kinda long, wasn't it? LOL

Jewels of My Heart said...

The pics are beautiful. What a fun day.
As to your horrible experience in the bathroom. I am so sorry. Shame on that child's mother for not telling her daughter to be quiet and that she was being rude!
Poor Ana Claire. It breaks my heart when we cannot protect our children when they are faced with the ignorance of people whether it comes from an adult, child or both.
(BIG HUG)

Somewhere In The Sun said...

Okay, where was the girl's mother? Yes, the child was probably just curious but the mother has no excuse.

LOVE the pictures. The dress over the head cracks me up!

mommy24treasures said...

love the pics...I ove that color on AC.
I know exactly how you felt in the bathroom, I have been very blessed that for the most part we haven't ran in to anything too negative yet, but I can surely imagine your feelings...
SO sorry...

Holly said...

Great pictures! So sorry about that horrible comment. Why can't people just understand and accept adoption? I have expirienced situations similar to this, I know how you feel.

Nicole said...

Great pictures! I love the one of them walking away, and of course, the ones with her dress over her head are priceless! I would hope the girl's mom might have stepped in and taken the opportunity to have a talk with her daughter later... Poor AC, I bet it was confusing for her to take that in...

Grace said...

Beautiful pictures Lisa! They turned out well! I will have to do up a picture of my boys soon too for Christmas because we're not going to the studio this year... I don't think =(

I'm sorry to hear about the incident that happened in the washroom. These things happen and kids are curious these days. Poor AC - I'm surprised the mother didn't say anything??? Things like this happen to DH when he's with our boys.....

Jeff and Sonya Hodge said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE the pictures!

OK! Now, for the curious child...her Mom needs to shut her up! You could have been like my Mom was to one of Ben's friends the other day. She said, "Do you ever stop talking?"
Ben couldn't believe his Nana said that but, sometimes it is in order!

Sonya

Green, Party of Four said...

What beautiful pictures of your blessings and love that color on Ms. Ana Claire.
Some people can be so hurtful and I agree with Sonya......that Mom needs to talk to her kids.
love
Connie

Sheri said...

Your pictures are great! It's so evident that your boys just adore their little sister.

I'm so sorry that you and Ana Claire had to experience what you did. People are so insensitive, especially when it comes to foreign adoption. These girls are precious gifts from God, no matter how they entered our families.

Jake and Taryn said...

Bless your heart! I am so sorry to hear that you and Ana Claire had the experience that you did. As you mentioned you and Ana Claire both feel that you are her REAL Mommy and for someone (even another child) to question that has to just tear your heart up. I am so sorry. I can't believe that the child's mother let her continue with all of that. However, what you know in your heart is all that matters and even though it hurts, Ana Claire is a true gift from God and she is all yours! :) What a lucky you and what a lucky her!

P.S. I love all of the pictures that you all took!! I am sure that your Christmas picture is even better! :)

LucisMomma said...

I went from laughing (at AC's dress over her head) to crying...If it *had* to happen, at least you were with AC and could comfort her afterwards. My, what a big thing to have to think about when you are 3. I know the questions will come, and the rudeness, but gee, to have to deal with it when you are so little!

So far, the comments I've had to Luci have been when she was too young to understand what they are saying. I need to remember what Sonya's mom said, "do you ever stop talking?"

susan

drew and lori said...

oh my word! i am with susan- i was laughing at the pictures, pondering how many outfits to order and then read the next post and want to throw up!! i think my biggest shock is the mother! and poor AC- i just hate that our children have to find out things because of insensitive people who are complete strangers and its none of their business anyway! i guess i sound harsh but it bugs me! and lisa- YOU ARE HER REAL MOMMY. not just in her eyes or in your heart- YOU ARE HER MOMMY. and you are wonderful!

LINDA said...

Oh,Lisa---the pictures are really great. The boys are great brothers and they all look to be having a super day. It does get tiring; being a model is hard work.
As for the little girl, my granddaughter is now 12. At 9-10, she would have looked and talked it over with her parents or grandparents later. That poor little girl obviously did not have a very healthy up-bringing.Curiosity is no excuse for rudeness. Her parents are to blame for the rudeness she rained upon you and your sweet, innocent daughter.You are AnaClaire's Mommy and that won't change because of one incident or a thousand. You and AnaClaire will discuss these kinds of things many times and she will understand and believe you--not any uninformed, rude person. I think you handled it the best way possible and someday, AnaClaire will be telling you to forgive their ignorance. You are blessed with a beautiful family.

The Ferrill's said...

Boy, do I EVER know how you feel with the bathroom comment incident. You wouldn't BELIEVE the comments we get about Kimmie's arms and why we have two kids from China. This one lady even said "You mean you have four of your OWN and then you adopted two?" I wanted to say..."Um, they are ALL my own, thank you!"
Well meaning people.
Well meaning comments.
Well meaning tired mommy of six about to slap somebody down!
Just kidding...sort of!
I have been so tempted in grocery store lines when I get the comments, to pick up my cell phone and call Rob and start talking in Chinese babble just to make people think.
Even before we adopted Kimmie and Quan, I got comments about the number of children I had. "Are they ALL yours?"
Well, it's Thanksgiving, so I'm going to be nice and thankful and stop talking about all this,
and tell you how absolutely BEAUTIFUL your children are in all these pictures! I've enjoyed catching up on everything! I love AC flashing in that picture!
Maybe we can get together in December?
Love,
Laine