Her first drawing in preschool.
WOW! Can I just say what a day? It has been an emotional roller coaster. This morning we got up, Ana Claire seemed to be excited but very nervous about starting school for the first time. (She will be going three days a week from 9-1.)
We made her breakfast, packed her lunch and snack. We got our clothes on and the whole time we were talking about how we thought her day would be. I kept reassuring her that I would be there waiting to pick her up and couldn't wait to hear how her day went.
Today in our area from Hurricane Fay, now a tropical storm we had some really bad weather. Flooding rains and tornadoes. We leave for school early so I can show her the line of cars that I will sit in to pick her up. She is still fine telling me she is going to be a big girl and have fun, but if she doesn't like it she would tell her teacher to take her name off of the roll. I am trying to be very positive about everything and tell her that her teacher will come get her out of the car with an umbrella....then I see the teachers come to the door. I say the words hear they come and she TOTALLY LOOSES it. She is screaming she doesn't want to go please don't make me and then someone comes to the car to get her, but it isn't her teacher. Okay this is bad because she goes nuts. I tell the lady that she can't get her out of the car.... her teacher has to get her out of the car. I am now fighting back the tears. What the heck am I doing? Here comes Mrs. Jeannie to the rescue. Ana Claire is in my lap snotty and crying screaming no she doesn't want to go. Mrs. Jeannie is saying she will be fine as she peels her off of me. She closes the door and I watch Ana Claire being carried away kicking and screaming.....I am thinking, what the heck have I done? I am now boo hooing. I feel like the dirt on the bottom of my shoe. Picture a bad gotcha day moment. That is what went through my head. I go straight home questioning myself on what I had just done.
As soon as I get home I call the church/school to see if she is still crying, because if she was I was going to get her. They inform me they are under their weather plan and all of the children are in the safe rain room. I am thinking OMG! What a way to start the first day of school. They tell me to call back in 30 minutes. I call back in thirty minutes, they go check on her reassure me that she is doing fine. I ask them are you sure, because if she is crying I will come and get her. It isn't worth it to me for her to be miserable. No she is fine.
Okay, so when I go pick her up I can tell she is just as relieved to see me as I am to see her. I ask her about her day and she doesn't really want to talk about it. I said okay.....I don't know what to think. We come home and cuddle up in the bed and we both take a nap.
When the boys came home they ask her about her day and she opens up. She told them how she made some friends, colored, had circle time and a couple of other things. She said she had fun, but when you ask her if she is ready to go back on Wednesday she is iffy. I question if I am doing the right thing. She may love it, she may hate it. I just don't know. I am praying that God will give her peace....give me peace. I have collected some things to do some homeschooling with. I am going to follow her lead. I will not force her to do this. It isn't worth it to me to have her regress. She has anxiety issues and she has come to far to rock her boat unnecessarily. I guess we will see what this week brings. Please keep us in your prayers.
Anyone have any suggestions? I would love to hear them.